


The Hazard Squad: The Devil, A Demon, An Angel and A Teacher.

by Trudabest



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chuck Shurley is God, Eventual Castiel/Dean Winchester, F/M, Gen, Good Parent Chuck Shurley, Lucifer Redemption, Minor Injuries, Minor Original Character(s), Minor Violence, Multi, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27780136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trudabest/pseuds/Trudabest
Summary: What if Lucifer had decided to lay low after escaping Asmodeus?What if Castiel's escape from the Empty left a crack in his wake?What if Chuck had decided to perform one little miracle in the prelude to the Apocalypse?This is the story of The Hazard Squad, Saving people and Hunting things.
Relationships: Balthazar & Crowley (Supernatural), Balthazar & Lucifer (Supernatural), Balthazar (Supernatural) & Original Female Character(s), Crowley & Lucifer (Supernatural), Crowley (Supernatural) & Original Character(s), Lucifer (Supernatural) & Original Female Character(s), Lucifer (Supernatural)/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 3





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Supernatural fanfic.  
> I apologise for any bad writing, but I had this fun idea in my head and I couldn't let it go. So I hope you all enjoy this idea as much as I do.
> 
> Edit:  
> I changed the title, sorry for any confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'The Devil Went Down To Georgia' - The Charlie Daniels Band

Lucifer had just left Castiel by the old warehouse and found himself tripping and stumbling over tree roots and stumps and all sorts of plants. "I take back what I said about nature being Dad’s last perfect creation." he grumbled after nearly face planting into the dirt for the tenth time. His legs felt achy, his feet felt bruised, and his sides were stabbing him. Was he tired? Not only did he need to find his son, deal with otherworld Michael and avoid the legions of Hell, but he was basically human! "Being weak sucks!" he wined to the air as he kept onwards. The sound of muttering way behind him drew him out of his misery. "C'mon, Asmodeus will flay us alive if he hears we let them escape!"

Idiot demons, not knowing to keep their mouths shut. He quickly walked in the opposite direction, hoping they were too far away to hear his footsteps. He sighed in relief as the treeline eventually came into view, knowing that he would be safe if he got somewhere public. The thought of not only needing to hide from his own creations, but being around so many humans, made his vessel's skin crawl. Although it was technically his skin now. He was so caught in his own disgust that he didn't notice the car driving towards him until it was too late.

-Meanwhile-

It was a cold February day in McRae-Helena Georgia, the sun shielded by a grey blanket of clouds. In a small wooden area wound an even smaller road. Rattling along that road was a worn, dusty antique blue bug. Inside was a woman leisurely driving, clearly not in a rush. It was a Saturday and she didn't have to go to work until Monday. She wore a green jumper on top of a white tank top with ripped blue jeans and red trainers. Her red hair fell in gentle waves around her shoulders and down her waist, green eyes focused on the road framed with freckles across her cheeks like a galaxy of stars.

Around her right ring finger sat a gold band encrusted with emeralds and hanging below her collar bones sat a golden crucifix ordained with a single red rose. She went over a small bump and the radio jittered to life, a frequent occurrence she noticed since she bought it. The chorus of 'The Devil Went Down To Georgia' softly came through the speakers, bringing an amused smile to her lips. Suddenly a figure emerged from the treeline and into the centre of the road.

She sharply braked before the car slammed into the person, knocking them onto the road. "Shit." She scrambled out of the vehicle and knelt next to the person. The man had spiked dirty blonde hair and scruff, with lines around his eyes and forehead. He was wearing a white shirt and beige jacket with black jeans and brown casual lace up shoes. "Shit." she repeated, frantically calling 911. Unaware of the creatures with black eyes watching from behind the trees.


	2. The Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Sympathy For The Devil' - Motorhead

The first thing he noticed was white. It blinded him with how bright it was, covering the walls and the ceiling. His first thought went to Heaven and the blinding corridors he saw while possessing Castiel. He didn't remember there being so much white in Heaven during The Beginning, but as he had learnt first hand, a lot of things had changed after The Fall. As he slowly opened his eyes he realised that it certainly wasn't the Silver City, but a human Hospital. "Great." he groaned sitting up in the bed before wincing at the shooting pain in his skull.

Bringing a hand up to the back of his head he found bandages wrapping around it. Had he really lost so much grace that even a human vehicle could hurt him? Unsure whether or not there were Demons nearby, he reached for his Angel Blade, only to realise that he wasn't wearing his clothes. "Wha-?" pulling the blanket away, he saw he was in a thin blue and white gown. Looking around he found his clothes folded on a nearby table in the room, beside them lay his Angel Blade. As he was about to grab them and leave, a doctor walked into the room.

"Ah, you're awake!" The Doctor was a short woman with tanned skin and brown hair tightly wound up in a bun, square glasses perched on her narrow nose framed dark eyes intently glued to the wooden clipboard in her hands. Lucifer rolled his eyes, suppressing an irritated groan. When she looked up at him, he quickly plastered on a wide smile, desperately wanting this over and done with. "You suffered a nasty bump on the head, but luckily there are no signs of brain damage, concussion or any major injuries." Lucifer eagerly rubbed his hands together and moved to stand "Great! Well, I will get changed and be on my-"

"Hold on!" she pushed on his arm to lay him back down, causing him to cry out as a sharp pain ran through his shoulder. "Just because there are no major injuries, does not mean you are not injured. You are covered in bruising that will require a few days healing before you go anywhere!" Grinding his teeth, Lucifer refrained from snapping. 'If I play nice, maybe she'll give me some slack.' "Yeah, I know, but I've got to see my family and-"

"That's unfortunate, but maybe if you give us a name we can have them come by?" She clicked her pen expectantly, watching as he floundered for a way to get out of the hole he'd just dug. His prayers were answered when a knock came from the door "Doctor Carter? Is he awake?" The Doctor split into a wide grin as she turned to answer the visitor. "Miss Wood! Yes, our mysterious stranger here is conscious and talking. Come in!" A red haired woman covered in freckles with green eyes sheepishly smiled at Doctor Carter as she hesitantly stepped into the room. "I just have to finish up some paperwork, get a name out of him, contact his family, and then we'll be done!"

Miss Wood moved out of the Doctor's way as she exited the room. "In the meantime I'll let you two chat." She closed the door behind her, leaving the Devil and the mystery woman alone. The red head nervously sat in the chair by the bed and offered a kind smile "Hi my name's Rosemary, what's yours?" He looked at her incredulously before deciding 'Screw it.' "Lucifer." the smile turned into a wince "You really must have hit your head, I am so sorry for hitting you with my car."

"Yeah, thanks for that." he bitterly responded. Her face fell as he moved to stand. "Hey, you shouldn't be on your feet." He turned to give her a shit-eating grin "Well I've never been one to do as I'm told, so." He struggled to hoist himself up and let out a grunt of pain in the process. 'Seriously, I fight off an army of demons, and some chick with a car does this?' He took a step forward, only to be grabbed by a strong hand. Suddenly, he was abruptly thrown back on the bed, a groan escaping him as he writhed in pain. Rosemary stood up at the new arrival. It was an elderly balding man with grey hair in scrubs and lab coat wearing a kind smile.

"Hello Rosemary." he cheerfully greeted the confused woman, who swore she hadn't heard him come in. "Hello Doctor Kimley, you surprised me." she shakily laughed, an uneasy feeling washing over her at his presence. "Yes well, I need a word with you alone." A pit of dread settling in her stomach. 'But why?' she had known Doctor Kimley as long as she had lived in town, he had only ever been kind and warm. Hell, he always smelt of the lollipops he gave to sick kids! Except, all she could smell was rotten eggs. This only helped to confuse her more. "Why? I thought everything was alright?"

"I just need to go over one or two details with you." At this moment Lucifer was finally able to collect himself and get a good look at the man. What he saw was most definitely not a Doctor. "Yeah, I wouldn't do that if I were you." Both of them turned to him confused. The blonde just nonchalantly nodded his head towards the older man. "He's a demon." As Rosemary turned back to him, what looked like Doctor Kimley drew a blade identical to the one on the table and lunged at her, his eyes pitch black. Instead of the scream and squelch Lucifer had been expecting as he prepared to make a break for it, the woman doged the lunge and twisted the demon's arm, making it drop the blade. She then took her other arm and elbowed the demon in the face, knocking it unconscious. Panting, she turned to Lucifer who was shell shocked. "Are you a witch?"

"What? No! What the hell is going on?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Really because you just hurt a demon without an angel blade or a demon knife, and humans can't do that."

Rosemary started pacing around the room, her hair becoming a mess from her fingers running through it. "Okay, Okay, Okay. Witches, Demons and Angels are real. Which means that you are actually the Devil. What else is real?" she desperately looked at him as he started counting on his fingers but then gave up. "Basically everything in every Folklore or Myth or Legend ever." He helplessly shrugged and dragged himself onto his feet again with a wince. Rosemary laughed to herself almost hysterically as she resumed pacing "So everything I have ever taught as a Mythology and Religion teacher! Great!"

"Okie dokie if you're done, I'm gonna get changed, and then we gotta bounce if you don't want your carcass hung from the ceiling like a human piñata." She looked at Lucifer in disgust at the imagery while he just sarcastically smiled at her "Because there's gonna be a lot more where that came from." To emphasise his point he gestured to the unconscious Demon now drooling on the tiled floor. Without waiting for a reaction, he picked up his clothes from the table and went to take his gown off, prompting Rosemary to cover her eyes and turn around.

'What have I gotten myself into?'


	3. The Drive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Devil Riding Shotgun' - Up from Ashes

After getting changed and taking both his own and Doctor Kimley's Angel Blade, Lucifer had Rosemary guide him out of the Hospital. They walked through the hallways, trying to avoid any demons that might be lurking about. There were surprisingly a few of them, either as patients or Doctors or Nurses. It was a good job they had decided to get out when they did. The only major obstacle they faced was trying to get around Doctor Carter, as neither of them could think of a believable excuse. This obstacle became ten times larger when the unconscious body of Doctor Kimley was found and both Rosemary and Lucifer were missing, causing people to panic. 

Luckily, Rosemary had found an empty room on one of the lower floors with a window large enough for them to squeeze through. With many complaints from Lucifer, of course. When they finally got to the car park Rosemary asked "Where are we going?" Lucifer looked at her as if she had asked what colour the sky was. "Look, I'm running on low grace here, and you just hit me with your car. The fact I've made it this far without a break is impressive! However, I am gonna crash eventually. So basically," he dropped the patronising tone and broke into a wide grin as he did jazz hands "sleepover!" Shaking her head in disbelief, Rosemary just walked towards her car. Lucifer eyed it suspiciously as she got in the driver seat and did her seatbelt. There was some form of magic around the blue bug, almost like an aura, that made Lucifer pause. Noticing he hadn't followed Rosemary wound down the window and leant out of it "What?" 

"Are you sure you're not a witch? Because the car sure looks enchanted to me."

She opened her mouth to once again deny she was a witch, when she paused and closed it again. "Huh." The Devil grinned, thinking he finally had an answer to her anti-demon capability. "Well share with the class, Teach." Rolling her eyes she started the car. "I may not be a witch but I'm pretty sure I bought the car from one. Now get in." He smirked at her annoyed expression, despite the fact his theory had once again been proven wrong. An idea hit him as he jumped into the front seat. 'Just because I can't torture her doesn't mean I can't have fun.' As she pulled out of the car park, Lucifer rested his head on his chin and turned to her with a smug grin. Rosemary cautiously eyed him from the corner of her eye. "What?"

"Oh, nothing Teach. Just thinking about how a young woman such as yourself is taking a very devilishly handsome man such as myself home, and you haven't even bought me a drink yet." His grin widened as her face flushed and she angrily pointed at him. "First of all: Don't call me Teach, Second of all: You give yourself too much credit, and Third of all: Get your mind out of the gutter!" He snickered to himself as she quickly turned the radio on to end the conversation. Only for 'The Devil Went Down To Georgia' to start playing. He snorted at the song and gave her a mischievous look. Sighing, she changed the channel and 'Sympathy for the Devil' came out. Confused, and purposefully ignoring Lucifer's giggles beside her, she changed it again. But 'Devil Riding Shotgun' came from the speakers. Rosemary, frustrated, turned the radio off all together as Lucifer cackled next to her. "Yep, magic car!"

It was going to be a long drive.

-Later-

She was going to hit him with her car. Again. Okay, she wasn't, but she wanted to. After only ten minutes, but what felt like an eternity, they finally arrived at her house. It was small, but cozy, and had an attempt at a garden in the front. The front door may have needed painting, and the stone path was crumbling, but hey it's home. It was evening when they arrived, most of the day had been spent in the Hospital, and Rosemary parked on the street outside and almost threw herself out of the car. Lucifer jumped out of the car and sauntered up to the front of the house, while Rosemary took her keys out of the driver's compartment and sped up the path to unlock the door. Inside was a faded lumpy couch, an armchair, a stained coffee table, a messy kitchen counter and a filthy TV.

"Alright, you're sleeping on the couch, bathroom is upstairs on the right and if you need anything shout." Before he could get a word in she was already halfway up the stairs. He went to snoop around for anything personal he could annoy her with, when suddenly a yawn escaped him. Blinking in surprise, he realised how heavy his eyelids were and how aching his limbs were. "Stupid human needs." he grabbed the blanket layed over the couch, and curled up under it on the cushions. Thankfully he already knew how to sleep and eat from Castiel's memories of being human. That didn't mean he was looking forward to it. He didn't have time to dwell on his miserable state, because his eyes were already closing.

Within minutes he was sound asleep.


	4. The Journey Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Highway to Hell' - AC/DC

The early morning sun flickered through the cream curtains, the duvet that covered the woman's bottom half was slipping off the bed. Rosemary was curled in on herself, her hair splayed out on her pillow like a fiery halo. As the light landed on her face and highlighted her freckled cheeks, she slowly began to stir. Groaning, she sat up and checked the clock. 7:30 am. She squinted at the calendar on the opposite wall. Sunday 4th February, 2018. 'Happy 34th Birthday to me.' she swung her feet over the side of the bed and into the worn green slippers that waited for her. Instead of the jumper and jeans she had worn the day before, she was wrapped in a cozy set of pyjamas that consisted of a fluffy white long sleeve shirt, and red flannel bottoms. She still wore the green ring and rose crucifix.

On her desk sat papers that she was supposed to grade last night, luckily she still had time until work tomorrow. Stretching she walked into the hallway that led towards the bathroom and the staircase. She slowly shuffled downstairs, despite how much she wanted to sleep in until noon. The framed pictures that lined the wall mainly featured a blonde woman with green eyes strikingly similar to the little red haired girl also in the photos. A few others were of teacher parties or a group of college kids, even a few trip photos. Each of them bore a woman with vibrant red hair.

She walked past the living room without a second thought and proceeded to the kitchen counter. It was covered in plates that were either washed and hadn't been put away, halfwashed or still dirty. Two or three mugs were scattered about, a fourth still half-full, and a handful of cutlery was left in the sink. Sighing, Rosemary decided to just rinse and dry one of the already dirty mugs to use for her coffee, picking up the 'World's Best Teacher' mug she got when she first started teaching. As the coffee maker started to whirr to life, there was movement from the living room. Spinning around, she was met with a sleepy Lucifer sitting up on the couch, clutching the blanket around him like a cape. A moment of silence passed as they stared at each other, the coffee machine being the only noise in the house.

"That wasn't a dream."

Lucifer smirked as she rubbed her eyes as if to check. "Aww, you thought I was a dream." The coffee pouring into the cup allowed her to avoid responding as she opened the fridge for milk. Intrigued by the smell, Lucifer dropped the blanket as he stood behind Rosemary to watch her pour the milk into the cup over her shoulder. When she turned to grab sugar from the cupboard, her face nearly collided with his chin, and causing her to jump so far back she hit the counter. "Jesus!" Lucifer just waved his finger at her, shit eating smirk permanently etched onto his face "Wrong guy, Teach." She just rolled her eyes as she took out the sugar, speaking as she did. "Again, don't call me Teach. Anyway, how does the Devil end up in Georgia anyway?" She put the milk away before turning back to Lucifer, sipping her coffee with a questioning look. He simply shrugged and walked back to the couch, Rosemary trailing behind. "You might wanna sit down for this."

-Later-

Rosemary was sitting on the arm chair, her elbows on her knees and her fingers interlocked in front of her face, eyes unseeingly staring at the table. Lucifer, however, was lounging on the centre of the couch, leisurely sipping at what was no longer Rosemary's coffee. When he removed the mug from his lips, he seemingly continued with what he was saying. "After Me and Cassie staged our little prison break and he tried to stab me, I was escaping Asmodeus' goons, when you hit me with your magic car. Now here we are!" He gestured around them casually with a wide grin, as if these were totally normal events.

Taking a deep breath, Rosemary removed her hands from infront of her mouth. "So let me get this straight. " Lucifer merely hummed in acknowledgement as he took another sip from the mug. "The world has nearly ended multiple times over the past 13 years, God has a sister, you have a son and there's an archangel from a parallel world that wants to destroy ours?" She gave him an exasperated look, desperately hoping he'd say 'Sike!'. Lucifer lowered the mug to think it over before grinning at her. "Yep!"

She fell further into the couch with a huff, staring at the ceiling as she processed that the world might be ending. Again. "Wait, aren't you gonna tell the- what were they called? Winchesters?"

"Yeah, no. I tried telling Cas, but he called me a big fat liar and tried to shish kabob me. I just wanna find my son and skedaddle." He shrugged but then frowned when he found the coffee cup empty. "Wouldn't he be with the Winchesters? If you go to them, not only will you see him, but you can also-" she gestured around them with a face that screamed sarcasm "I don't know, save the world!" Lucifer just gave her an unimpressed look and was about to retort when a knock came at the door. "Expecting anyone?" Rosemary shook her head and cautiously approached the door, while Lucifer drew his Angel Blade from his jacket, which had been thrown over the back of the couch. She peeped through the spyhole, only to find the elderly Ms Jackie who lived around the corner on the porch. Her wrinkled lips were curled into a gentle smile.

Which is weird considering Ms Jackie is a hermit and a bitch who loves her cat more than her dead husband. That along with the goosebumps at the back of Rosemary's neck, reassured her that it wasn't really the older woman. Which, to be fair, Rosemary wasn't sure whether or not she should be glad about. "Rosemary, dear, I'm afraid that Mr Flufflesnuffles has run off again, could you help me look for him?" her croaking voice came out sweetly, much different than her usual rasping shrieks. Behind her Lucifer looked confused 'Does everyone in town know this woman?' she turned back to mouth 'Demon' at him. Quickly, he ran for the kitchen.

"I'm sorry Ms Jackie, but I'm really busy at the moment." she called back, quietly locking the door. "I'm sure you'll find him soon."

"What was that? I heard something. Is there someone with you?" the doorknob began jiggling as the Demon tried to turn it. "Rosemary?" The woman in question was hazardously sliding over to the kitchen area with her slippers. "What are you doing?" she frantically whisper-shouted as the Demon started repeatedly knocking on the door. "Looking for salt!" he replied in the same voice. "Seriously? Out of all the demon lore in the world, salt is accurate?" They were interrupted by the knocking turning into pounding. "Rosemary!" the demon shouted as the hinges started to creak under its strength. Thinking fast, Rosemary grabbed an iron frying pan from the rack. Just because she didn't like the woman, didn't mean she wanted to stab her.

The lock snapped and the demon charged in.

They both lunged at it, but the demon's eyes turned black as it threw the vessel's wrinkly hand out to send them flying. However only Lucifer went backwards and slammed into the kitchen counter, his Angel Blade flying to the other side of the room. Surprisingly, he wasn't met with the piercing pain of a new injury, but the dull ache of the ones Rosemary had already caused. Speaking of which, she had been physically thrown into the wall by the Demon, who was now holding her up by her neck.

"Sorry not sorry Ms Jackie." she choked out before swinging the pan at the elderly woman's head. The Demon drew back with a sharp cry, dropping the redhead who was now greedily gasping air. Blood ran down the vessel's temple from where the object had collided. Taking the opportunity, Lucifer swung at the hellspawn, only for there to not even be a bruise. Quickly, the black-eyed woman threw him into the armchair on the other side of the room. "Asmodeus will not only have the Devil on a leash, but also a pretty new plaything." she grinned down at him as he struggled against her powers. "But he didn't say anything about you being in one piece."

CLANG!

The Demon dropped to the floor with a thud. Above her stood Rosemary with her frying pan held with both hands like a baseball bat. "Holy shit, that worked!" Lucifer just stared up at her with his mouth open before leaning against the armchair to pull himself upright. A silence washed over them as they caught their breaths, until something stuck out in Rosemary's mind. "What did it mean 'new plaything'?"

"You are apparently Demon kryptonite. Why, I don't know. But what I do know is that Asmodeus likes his toys, and Teach, you are a rare item." He nonchalantly shrugged while Rosemary had to sit herself down on the couch. "Sorry to say it, but your life is over. You have an unconscious Demon in your house, and the neighbours probably heard everything." He sat down next to her as she held her head in her hands while mumbling "Shit, Shit, Shit-"

"Unless..."

Her head shot up towards him, eyebrows creased. "Unless?"

"Roadtrip!" he cheerfully smiled and started excitedly clapping. At her confused face he sighed and explained his idea patronisingly slowly. "You can take me to the Winchesters, while we keep eachother safe from Demons. When we find Dumb and Dumber, you can stay with them and save the world- or whatever- while I finally get my son. Comprender?" He looked at her expectantly while her brain went at a mile a minute. Finally she sighed "Fine! Let me shower and pack, then we'll head out." As she trudged up the stairs he called out. "I'll watch the unconscious body!"

-Later-

Dressed once again in blue ripped jeans, white tank top, green jumper and red trainers, Rosemary carried two large duffel bags in each arm towards the blue bug. One was made of brown leather, while the other a navy blue fabric. Lucifer leaned against the passenger door with his arms crossed and a cheeky grin as he watched her struggle with opening the boot of the car and carrying the bags at the same time. There was metal clanging from the leather bag as she threw it in, the second landing much softer. 

At his curious look, Rosemary rolled her eyes as she moved over to the driver's seat. "It's my Grandfather's old hunting gear, thought it might be handy." As she turned the ignition on, once again the radio stuttered to life. The beginning of ACDC's 'Highway to Hell' came from the speakers. Expecting her to change the channel like last night, Lucifer was surprised when she turned it up as they pulled onto the road. Rosemary smirked at him from the corner of her eye "What?" she innocently asked "I like this song."

'Happy 34th Birthday, indeed.' 

-Somewhere-

Black. That was all there was. Black and Silence. Suddenly, in the midst of all the never ending void, there was a sliver of beyond the nothingness. A crack. It was the first thing he registered. The second thing he registered was that he had no idea where he was. It was just empty.

Oh.

"Bollocks."


	5. The Motel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Trouble' - Valerie Broussard

Rosemary had been driving for two hours straight until they had to stop the Bug in Atlanta for food. They had briefly stopped in a small town along the way and gotten a flaming pentagram tattoo on her left arm, anti-possession against demons. Drained from the past 48 hours, she pulled into the cheapest motel she could find. Lucifer had pestered her for the entire drive, according to him human transport was 'slow' and 'claustrophobic' compared to flying. After booking at the front desk, she hauled both duffel bags to the front step, Lucifer standing next to her in amusement as she struggled with the bags and the key at the same time.The room behind the poorly painted door truly reflected how much it had cost.

Flower pattern wallpaper coated the walls and peeled at the edges, shabby carpet lined the floor and the ceiling was covered in several species of mold. The curtains had countless holes from moths in them, and a rotting round wooden table sat underneath the grimy window alongside a rickety chair, the bed sheets were stained with unidentifiable substances. What really took the cake was the fact that there was no couch, and one bed. "I do not want to know what the bathroom looks like."

"Well then!" Lucifer clapped his hands together before peering around the room "This sure is an accurate representation of humanity at its finest." Rosemary threw the weapon bag on the table and placed the other on the bed. With a huff she dropped onto the bed. "I think you mean at its worst." Lucifer wandered around the musty room. "I know what I said." She pulled her laptop and some cans of green spray paint out of the bag. "You said we might need wards, so can you paint some while I try to find a store nearby?" He just looked at her while she powered up the laptop. Noticing an unusual silence, Rosemary turned towards the Devil, who was staring at her unimpressed. "What?"

"Hate to break it to ya, but I'm not some human's personal manservant." This was the first time she had heard something other than sarcasm or mockery come out of his mouth. This was bitter with a cruel smile. "I know you're not, but I have no idea which symbols are accurate or not." she looked at him pleadingly as he stubbornly glared at her "Please." he sighed before begrudgingly snatching the cans from the bed and starting to spray on the walls, grumbling under his breath. Rosemary quietly smiled to herself as she opened her browser. The next couple of minutes were filled with only the sounds of spraying paint and typing keys.

-Later-

"Hmm." Rosemary tugged her lower lip between her teeth as she scanned the screen. Lucifer had recently finished the last symbol, and was straddling the creaking wooden chair, when Rosemary stopped typing. "Whatcha found?" her head snapped over to him before hesitantly moving back to the device in her lap. "It's just- I found these reports of mysterious deaths, and thought they were really… odd."

"Oooh, do tell!" she rolled her eyes to herself before reading out the Newspaper article. " 'Four teenage girls found dead this month in separate incidents. The first victim, Susanna Keller, was found dead in her basement from poisoning. Her Parents had been out that night, and no one was seen coming in or out. Apparently, the poison used was Gelsemine, a highly toxic compound isolated from flowering plants of the genus Gelsemium, a plant native to the subtropical and tropical Americas. Victims Rachel Powell, Wendy Thomas and, most recently, Lilyanna Robinson were all found in similar circumstances. Police are still searching for a culprit.' "

Rosemary turned back to Lucifer. "Weird, right?" he was just boredly looking at his nails "Definitely supernatural." he murmured, uninterested.

"Shouldn't we- I don't know, do something?" she unsurely asked, looking back at the screen with a hint of hesitance, something which Lucifer latched onto with mischievous glee.

"Aww, wittle Rwosemary wants to pway hunter, how sweet." he precariously leaned on the chair, head resting on his chin as he cooed. She turned away from the news article to give him a bitch face worthy of Sam Winchester. "I have had to replace my phone with a burner, take the GPS out of my laptop and withdraw everything from my account in cash!" she slowly stalked up to him, prompting Lucifer to stand up from the chair, intrigued. "Not to mention I have uprooted my life, abandoned students who depended on me and I am staying in this craphole, just to help you!" she was toe to toe with him at this point, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "So yeah, I'd like to stop people dying gruesome deaths where I can." she smiled sickly sweet at him before pointedly turning around and storming back to the laptop with a frown.

"If you feel so passionate about it, we might as well."

She paused to whip back around "Wait- What?" her eyes narrowed in suspicion as she fought a small flicker of hope sparking in her chest. 'Is he truly as big a douchebag as he seems?'

He smugly smirked at her confused face, his hands coyly clasped in front of him. "Yeah, It'll be fun watching you try so hard to make a difference, only for me to have to save you when you eventually fail miserably."

She just blankly stared at him as the light in her heart slowly flickered and died. "You are such an asshole."

"Although, I have to admit, the moves you pulled on those Demons will come in handy." he faked considering something, drumming his fingers against his chin as she leant over the bed. "Where did you learn that again?" 

"I did kickboxing and karate throughout my 20s." she practically growled. The bag was once again rummaged through until she found a large, heavy leather book. Rosemary sat back down onto the squeaky mattress with it in her lap, Lucifer sauntered over to peer over her shoulder at the yellowing pages. Several newer pieces of paper had been slotted in between the older ones, on the first page 'A collection of Legends and Lore' was elegantly written under two names. They were the same name, except it had first been written in childish writing with backwards 'R's. The second version was more legible than the first, but shakier than the title, perhaps written by someone in the early teens. Both read 'Rosemary Wood'. "Y'know, It's not gonna be as easy as some, probably fake, light reading and a couple of shotguns, then 'Happy Ending'."

"You know what folklore is correct and what isn't. These are considered the most accurate and traditional myths that I have collected and written down since I was seven." she turned to him expectantly, only leaving Lucifer more dumbfounded. "You can read through it and say what's right and what isn't, so that way we know what we're dealing with." He smirked as he sat cross-legged on the opposite side of the bed. "Teach the Teacher, huh? I would love to, but I've never hunted before." 

"No, but you saw Sam Winchester's memories when Armeggedon first rolled around, right?" 

"Riiight..?"

"He's a hunter, so you have a basic idea of what hunting is like." Rosemary smirked slightly as rolled his eyes. "Fiiiinne." he wined before he heaved a great sigh and held out his hand for the book.

"Where should I start?"


	6. The Book

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Devil Town' - Cavetown

It was an average day. The sun rose as usual, the sky faded from ink black, to pink, then to blue as normal. In a normal house, a young woman stirred as her alarm clock raged against her ears, as it did everyday. She threw back the multitude of blankets that had acted as her cocoon against the cold night. Tangled, tight brown curls flopped over her eyes as she sat up, dark skinned hands blindly thumbling for the offending machine. Finding it, she grumpily slammed the off button, dragging herself out of bed. The light that flooded from the curtains as she drew them open caused her to scowl, as stumbled over to the vanity in search of a brush to tame her knotted hair. As she winced through every tug, her eye caught on a flash of gold glinting in the light. 

An old locket on a worn rusting chain sat next to a pile of hair products, the front ordained with a yellow flower whose paint had mostly rubbed away. Brushing off the guilt that had settled over her, she clasped the stiff chain around her neck. She pried the cream door to her room open and trodded down the stairs towards the kitchen, her Mum sat at the table with the morning paper splayed out, the girl’s entrance causing her head to shoot up. Her cheeks that usually stretched into a wide smile, had dropped into a frown, eyes bearing hints of red. “Jane, sweetheart,” she took a shaky breath as her daughter’s stomach clenched in dread. “Lilyanna’s dead.” ‘Susanna, Rachel, Wendy, now Lilyanna. They had all been there.’ Jane fell into the chair as her Mom spoke, although the words weren’t heard. “School has been cancelled and..” The young woman tugged the paper closer to read it properly, nausea tears streaming down her eyes through her shock. On the other side of town a certain red head was rereading the same article.

Lucifer was sprawled out across the bed, inconveniently leaving Rosemary with no room to move. He lied on his stomach, head in one hand and a pen in the other. Papers that had been neatly slotted between the pages were strewn about, red ink scrawled over them, the book sat open on the last few pages. Boredly, Lucifer turned a page, only to perk up as he read the title. A sly smile curled on his lips as he glanced over at the author, who sat oblivious and gnawed at her thumbnail in concentration. " 'The Devil, Evil or Misunderstood?' ". Rosemary snapped her head over to him, eyes wide in panic, causing his smile to widen into a grin. "Playing Devil's advocate, Teach?" 

She lurched for the book, ignoring the laptop as it teetered on the edge of the mattress. Lucifer merely sat up and held it out of her reach with one hand. "This isn't funny!" She stood up to reach, only for Lucifer to do the same, tilting his head to read the book. As what would be called an overreaction, she swept his legs out from beneath him. Not wanting her to have the satisfaction of beating him, he gripped her arm and dragged her down with him. With a yelp and a thud, Lucifer landed on the bed, Rosemary on top of him. A still quiet fell over the two. One of Lucifer's hands held the book at his side, the other tightly grasped Rosemary's arm, her legs straddling his waist. The only thing stopping their faces colliding was her other arm bent at the elbow beside his head.

Her warm breath fanned his cold cheeks, hair falling over her shoulders like waterfalls of fire, eyes shining like ivy covered in morning dew. Barely an inch away from her face, he could nearly count every constellation of freckles that dotted her cheeks. An odd warmth ran through him, battling with the cold that burnt within him. He snapped back to reality when a clatter came from the other side of the bed. Rosemary scrambled off of him, grabbing the book simultaneously, as she went to salvage the laptop. "So," she awkwardly cleared her throat as she checked the device for damage. "now that's sorted, what do we do next?" Sitting up, Lucifer mentally shook himself, whatever had fallen over him disappearing as quickly as it came. "Well, usually our favourite hunters would look at the body." Her head shot up, jaw opening and closing like a fish. "How? W-Why?"

Lucifer took advantage of her discomfort to take back control of the situation, putting on a cocky grin. "To see if we can figure out 'whatdunnit', with a side of some casual impersonation. No biggy." She stared at him for a moment, hoping he was kidding. He wasn't. "Shit." Discovering nothing wrong with it, she reopened the laptop to search for directions to the morgue, silently rethinking her life decisions.


End file.
